Tonight was one of those nights that left me wondering how in the world I will return to the workplace... but, I should probably begin a couple of steps backward. My second husband and I are raising a family under special circumstances. We have five children -- three are from my first marriage - all teenagers - and two are ours - both preschoolers. We also both graduated from college last spring, which means we are attempting to do the improbable -- supporting a family that takes most couples seventeen years to acquire on a single, entry level salary...
...at least, that's what we were doing. We've learned this summer that my husband's Physics Secondary Teaching degree is already a useless thing. He wants to teach High School, so he hasn't had enough training to be a physicist, and, due to the economy, schools need teachers certified to teach multiple subjects...for example: Physics, Geometry, Chemistry, and Astronomy while also coaching the girls' Soccer team. Bonus? Many of these jobs are "part-time" meaning an hourly wage and NO benefits. My husband took one of these "jack-of-all-trades" jobs for a charter school this past year. It was both a joy (teaching the students) and a misery (twelve hour days prepping for three subjects without any prep time at the school, plus the commute, etc.) Now, we're looking at his trying to return to school for further accredidations while teaching (IF he has an offer) or while working a "regular job" at a limited pay that wouldn't even match our mortgage.
That's right. We're unemployed. We are so blessed to be okay through July, but August is certainly looking iffy on the financial front. With all of this pressure, we've both been looking for work...for me, that would mean taking on a second job. My current employment is "unpaid". My job title? Mother. This is not an easy decision. When I was divorced...and when I thought of remarriage...I did all of the research on what these choices could mean, statistically speaking, for my daughters. So far, they have defied every one of those negative statistics. I chalk this up to my own passionate love for life and learning and my ability to allow them their agency and accountability while discerning the right moment for parental guidance and correction. That ability mostly comes from being here and knowing them well...and these are three amazing and capable girls!
Networking my resume, I sent a confident sum into the Universe as well...it's an interesting number. It would be above my husband's earnings as a part-time teacher by $600/mth, yet it would not take our family out from underneath the government's "poverty line"...and it would mean daycare for our youngest two. Measuring the cost of a mother getting a second "paying" job is never easy. It is more than the price of gas, clothes, child care, lunches, and dinners out when you're too tired (or too late getting home) to cook -- what happens to the home and family when there isn't an anchor in it? This is the question I don't want to answer. I don't want to see the danger for my daughters, their educations, their relationships to themselves and the boys who are quickly entering the scene. I don't want to know the price for my son, our youngest child...
The bottom line is that homelessness is worse than Mom getting a job away from home.
Last night, I got a call from a Camp Leader. My twelve year old daughter couldn't breath even after asthma treatments. We met at the ER. It was 2 am before she was stable enough to sleep. She was hoping to go back to camp this morning, but cannot (her breathing is not strong enough yet). And I wonder, what happens when I am not here to do the "behind the scenes" necessary to keep their lives stable? To keep the celiacs fed and the asthmatics medicated, to nurture through the hormones, and nourish the flourishing imaginations? How do working moms do doctor's appointments and life emergencies for five?
I don't know what the answer is. We are willing to relocate for my husband -- though this is costly with a family of seven and impossible in the face of two mortgages. We are willing to work the $10/hr or less jobs while looking for other work...if only we, as "overqualified" individuals could get them. Sometimes, we're underqualified...there are people with Master's degrees hunting these jobs (but that's another post). I learned while going through school for my Bachelor's Degree and running the undergraduate literary journal that you cannot have it all at the same time and have it all well. Something gives. Always. I'm hoping it is only the housework...
...at least, that's what we were doing. We've learned this summer that my husband's Physics Secondary Teaching degree is already a useless thing. He wants to teach High School, so he hasn't had enough training to be a physicist, and, due to the economy, schools need teachers certified to teach multiple subjects...for example: Physics, Geometry, Chemistry, and Astronomy while also coaching the girls' Soccer team. Bonus? Many of these jobs are "part-time" meaning an hourly wage and NO benefits. My husband took one of these "jack-of-all-trades" jobs for a charter school this past year. It was both a joy (teaching the students) and a misery (twelve hour days prepping for three subjects without any prep time at the school, plus the commute, etc.) Now, we're looking at his trying to return to school for further accredidations while teaching (IF he has an offer) or while working a "regular job" at a limited pay that wouldn't even match our mortgage.
That's right. We're unemployed. We are so blessed to be okay through July, but August is certainly looking iffy on the financial front. With all of this pressure, we've both been looking for work...for me, that would mean taking on a second job. My current employment is "unpaid". My job title? Mother. This is not an easy decision. When I was divorced...and when I thought of remarriage...I did all of the research on what these choices could mean, statistically speaking, for my daughters. So far, they have defied every one of those negative statistics. I chalk this up to my own passionate love for life and learning and my ability to allow them their agency and accountability while discerning the right moment for parental guidance and correction. That ability mostly comes from being here and knowing them well...and these are three amazing and capable girls!
Networking my resume, I sent a confident sum into the Universe as well...it's an interesting number. It would be above my husband's earnings as a part-time teacher by $600/mth, yet it would not take our family out from underneath the government's "poverty line"...and it would mean daycare for our youngest two. Measuring the cost of a mother getting a second "paying" job is never easy. It is more than the price of gas, clothes, child care, lunches, and dinners out when you're too tired (or too late getting home) to cook -- what happens to the home and family when there isn't an anchor in it? This is the question I don't want to answer. I don't want to see the danger for my daughters, their educations, their relationships to themselves and the boys who are quickly entering the scene. I don't want to know the price for my son, our youngest child...
The bottom line is that homelessness is worse than Mom getting a job away from home.
Last night, I got a call from a Camp Leader. My twelve year old daughter couldn't breath even after asthma treatments. We met at the ER. It was 2 am before she was stable enough to sleep. She was hoping to go back to camp this morning, but cannot (her breathing is not strong enough yet). And I wonder, what happens when I am not here to do the "behind the scenes" necessary to keep their lives stable? To keep the celiacs fed and the asthmatics medicated, to nurture through the hormones, and nourish the flourishing imaginations? How do working moms do doctor's appointments and life emergencies for five?
I don't know what the answer is. We are willing to relocate for my husband -- though this is costly with a family of seven and impossible in the face of two mortgages. We are willing to work the $10/hr or less jobs while looking for other work...if only we, as "overqualified" individuals could get them. Sometimes, we're underqualified...there are people with Master's degrees hunting these jobs (but that's another post). I learned while going through school for my Bachelor's Degree and running the undergraduate literary journal that you cannot have it all at the same time and have it all well. Something gives. Always. I'm hoping it is only the housework...
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