Speeding Tickets

"Ma'am, do you know you're doing 75mph in a 55?"

Oh my gosh!  Are you kidding me?  How embarrassing...how awful...how absolutely freaking IMPOSSIBLE...it's probably best that I didn't get to the last one until the following day when I was driving the same route again.  The spot where I was pulled over is just past the top of the hill and, while the Tangerine Dream may look sporty, it's a bit of a gutless wonder.  No kidding.  The only way to drive the hilly highway between my house and the freeway is in fourth gear (sometimes third).  This particular hill is a fourth gear hill.  There is no possible way my car could make it up the hill in a wide open fifth gear, which means the officer was either lying or clocked a different car and pulled me over instead because I looked like the guilty party.

(Side story:  I have a new coccyx cushion in the driver's seat that is really just a thick piece of foam.  It's so thick I have to duck to see my MPH.  When the officer pulled out, I did the knee jerk remove your foot from the gas pedal and double checked my speed -- which had already dropped to 50mph in those few milliseconds.  By the time he was behind me, I was driving too slow and panicking because I couldn't remember the actual speed limit on the road.  Welcome to my awesome, crazy life.)

So, now, I have to decide to just pay the ticket that clocks me at 9 miles over the speed limit (thanks for the "reduction" officer) because it is the same price from 1-10 miles over the limit.  OR, go in and explain to a judge that there is NO WAY my car was going more than 61mph at that point in the highway because the RPMs of my engine after that would have been freaking me out and calling attention to my need to shift gears (another something I didn't do.)  So, your honor, it turns out there's no way I was speeding as much as the officer alleges though it is entirely probable that I was driving over the limit between 0-6.

Wasabi

By show of hands -- does anyone ever eat the entire serving sized packet of wasabi that comes with grocery store sushi?  Really?  I think wasabi is one of the most deceptive condiments on the planet.  This stuff is kickin' trash and takin' names! Our local Target had a pretty, pre-made California roll and I thought...why not?  Grocery store sushi will NEVER be Tona's (our favorite Japanese grill and sushi bar), but this one I would rate as fair for the price ($3).

The little green package of Fujisan Wasabi has been packed with an extra punch -- yellow No. 5 and blue No. 1...don't forget the sorbitol!  I wondered about the thin, paste-like consistency, but stirred it in to the soy sauce as usual, broke the chopsticks, and dipped the base of a imitation crab filled roll.

HOLY NOSE CLEARING CAPACITY, BATMAN!!

A Little Bah-HUMBUG!

The Christmas season seems to begin earlier and earlier every year.  There's Christmas in July now (for the shopping, not the celebrating).  This year, decorations could be seen in stores before the skeletons of Halloween had been shoved back into the closet.  I don't know if this happens around the nation or not, but we have a radio station that began playing Christmas music on NOVEMBER FIRST. 

?!?!?!

Maybe it's because that happens to be my birthday, but the first six recognizable notes sounded in my head like fingernails on a chalkboard!!  Let's just say I've never deleted a radio station from my "favorites" so fast in my life.

The irony in this story came when I shared this experience at work and found that several people there thought I was just a mean old grinch all the way around (they were already harking to the bells, apparently).  I guess none of us celebrate the holidays the same way.  Our tree never goes up before the 15th of December.  We don't do Santa (which makes us "unbelievers" -- weirdness!) We keep every Christmas, Hanukkah, and end-of-the-year card that ever comes to our home for stringing up around the walls and remembering all of our friends.  We still go out caroling every year.  We don't open presents on Christmas Eve.  We collect Nativity scenes (and were despondent over the loss of several last year from moving plastic barrels around.)  The lights on our house still remind us of a Charlie Brown sort of Christmas.  We have an advent sort of book that we celebrate with every year with a scripture, a song, and a story -- keeping us focused on the Christ part of the mass of things to do (though, we have yet to do this in a quotidian (HA!) manner.  And every year, we talk about waiting to give gifts on January 6th, (thinking we'd give better gifts if we hit the after holiday sales), but the we never make it and the little ones are always fine with whatever humble things we were able to offer mixed in with the splendid generosity that seems to sparkle through the cracks this time of year.

So, BAH-HUMBUG on your early Christmas music, your electronic Marquee guilt trip countdowns, your commercials and advertising, and Black Friday chaos!  We do Christmas our own way around here.  And it never fails to bring a little bit of joy to our world.