The other day, a friend who joined my life more recently said this to me. We were talking about the teen thing of generally pulling away from what you've known (whatever that is) to establish your independance. I didn't argue with her or defend my own childhood choices, but it's been in the back of my head.
The two worst things I did as a teen was attempt to physically control my younger brothers and sisters (claws out) when left "in charge" and to believe that my own virtue was not worth saving if, by what the general "teens will..." expectation had done to my reputation, it was already lost.
I was a good student.
I liked to read.
I liked to help others.
I sat in the nursing home holding the hands of old men and women so they wouldn't feel alone -- like I did.
I did what my mom asked me to do.
I didn't use words that felt ugly in my mouth.
I didn't judge others.
I always went straight to the source when gossip reached my ears so I could hear the truth.
No coffee, tea, drugs, cigarettes, red bulls, prescription drugs or any other crap in my body -- even french fries are just gross.
I drove the speed limit.
I paid attention when I was babysitting.
I went to bed on time.
I made my curfew.
I always was where I said I would be.
I didn't try out for a million things I knew my mom couldn't afford.
I didn't ask for anything for Christmas or birthdays...because I knew my mom couldn't afford it.
I was far from perfect, but oh! How I tried!
I wonder how many good people there are who are just not good enough for the perfectionist expectations of the adults around them trying to "protect" them. I wonder how many naive young ones have made mistakes, not out of rebellion but a lack of training on how to handle different situations because the grown ups in their lives are too busy or too focused in another direction.
Do the teens and pre-teens in your world a favor -- communicate with them (that means listening), tell them you are pleased with such-and-such a thing that is specific to them, and *ask first* before giving them your advice so they'll know you're offering your counsel for their own use and not because you are critiquing the way they are handling their own stuff.
The two worst things I did as a teen was attempt to physically control my younger brothers and sisters (claws out) when left "in charge" and to believe that my own virtue was not worth saving if, by what the general "teens will..." expectation had done to my reputation, it was already lost.
I was a good student.
I liked to read.
I liked to help others.
I sat in the nursing home holding the hands of old men and women so they wouldn't feel alone -- like I did.
I did what my mom asked me to do.
I didn't use words that felt ugly in my mouth.
I didn't judge others.
I always went straight to the source when gossip reached my ears so I could hear the truth.
No coffee, tea, drugs, cigarettes, red bulls, prescription drugs or any other crap in my body -- even french fries are just gross.
I drove the speed limit.
I paid attention when I was babysitting.
I went to bed on time.
I made my curfew.
I always was where I said I would be.
I didn't try out for a million things I knew my mom couldn't afford.
I didn't ask for anything for Christmas or birthdays...because I knew my mom couldn't afford it.
I was far from perfect, but oh! How I tried!
I wonder how many good people there are who are just not good enough for the perfectionist expectations of the adults around them trying to "protect" them. I wonder how many naive young ones have made mistakes, not out of rebellion but a lack of training on how to handle different situations because the grown ups in their lives are too busy or too focused in another direction.
Do the teens and pre-teens in your world a favor -- communicate with them (that means listening), tell them you are pleased with such-and-such a thing that is specific to them, and *ask first* before giving them your advice so they'll know you're offering your counsel for their own use and not because you are critiquing the way they are handling their own stuff.
