Thursday, May 15, 2014

The Critics

The first time I read The Rise and Fall of Silas Latham and heard the story of William Dean Howells, Henry James, and Mark Twain, I thought in my head that will be me. I knew in that moment that I would write my stories, true. And, eventually, some would be published. But, for the most part, I would become the trusted editor and critic. Every creative person needs one to hone the gift of fire the muse grants them into a viable art and I am good at it.




Yesterday, I was invited to watch a video montage of a young, local actor whose work I greatly admire. The invitation came with the question, "is there anything to improve before NYC?!" Now, I must confess, I was hard-pressed to find anything.  This young man has impeccable timing, genuine facial expressions, the ability to connect with the character and use movement and ad lib lines to bring it to life, and...his voice. I was absolutely floored with his vocal abilities at such a young age to not only fill the technical requirements but to do so with realistic and expressive emotion. Stunning.


The mode of invitation, while not public, included several people including the actor and his director. All of the comments were of tremendous, but non-specific praise. The actor himself was uncomfortable with the post (and portions of his performance). Since no one was being very specific about what they liked and he seemed more and more uncomfortable at not receiving any honest feedback, I gave him some -- two points, actually. One *very* minor and the other, a vocal technique that could mean all the difference in the length and power of his career.


This morning, the director had removed the video with its comments and posted a scathing rant regarding critics and unnecessary feedback.


Ugh. I'm bored with this post already.


I just wanted to say, buck up.


If you are the creative type. If the muse is speaking to you through whatever medium you express, be ready. Be ready to hear the criticism. Be ready to open yourself up for feedback. You may discover your own blindspots. You may learn a new technique or approach you hadn't thought of before. Perhaps, after you get good at hearing the critics, you'll gain enough confidence to recognize when the feedback you're given would inherently alter the very thing you were attempting to create and not accept it whatever the current cost may be to your career. Good for you.


Know this, the critics are watching your work and the worst ones are in your own head.

Conspiracy of an Eight Year Old Girl

Around her neck
a beaded choker of indigo
and gold. Pearlized plastic
too loose for her wrist
too tight for her throat.
She wears it proudly for the big sister
whose little sister didn't want it.
A regifted token
singing out - you mean the world to me!
and she would pay it back too
or forward
or to anyone who would accept
a token bought with two shiny quarters,
three pennies and a nickel.


SNAP


The skin on the inside of her wrist
pulses purple red as rubber bands
woven
pulled back
catapult flinging self-hate
       I do this when I baby talk
or pick my nose
Everyone told me to stop
and hurting myself helps
make everyone happy


well...not everyone


just Melissa and Gay-Barr
and the sixteen other people who don't
like me for me


SNAP


Welts building, swelling
where veins pulse blue, less
angry than the crowd of mad critics
(Oh, that maddening crowd)


I can do anything
when I am ten years away from being
eighteen


Figure out the answer
this equation of carrying scissors
and boiling her own macaroni
-easy on the cheese-
Posters about truth and story
boards filled with the evolution
of bird people
and why
oh, why
is a creature with a brain
the size of a nut
given wings


When she sits there on hardwood
with a sharpie and her dreams
     scribed
word for word.


SNAP