Movies as candid and honest as "Spanglish" have attracted my husband and I to movies starring Adam Sandler. The trailers of "Funny People" made it a tempting proposition as a way to spend a couple of hours together. Two weeks ago, we sat down for a couple of laughs and a blunt perspective on relationships. Little did we know...This movie was written by men, for men, in "man speak". Nearly every word spoken is explicit, derragatory, and is in reference to bodily functions and/or anatomy. About fifteen minutes in, my brother entered the room and laughed saying, "This movie is so funny!" I knitted my eyebrows together and asked, "Do guys really talk to each other like this?!" For me, the launguage was so foreign that it was unbelievable until Quinn made a comment that my husband answered in the same language that was on screen. "See, even he knows it!" exclaimed my brother.
The rest of the movie, for me, was like watching an episode of National Geographic.
The storyline wasn't that intriguing or compelling. As a movie - this one is terribly disappointing. But it prompted some thoughts on the expectations (or lack thereof) we have for men, in general. For decades (at least), our culture has been saying that men only have one thing on their mind. Initially, it may have been intended as a warning for our daughters. How could it be anticipated that this untruth would become an excuse to have a public, peer-driven face that is motivated completely by sexual acts? Even my husband, an intelligent, sensitive, and skilled Physics Major knows how and when to wear this mask.
Generations of women have focused on the opening and advancement of opportunities for women, but many of these steps have come in nasty, derrogatory stereotypes generalizing men into a pigeon hole that I do not want for my own sons or as companions and partners for my daughters. If we want to be equal partners, we will have to have greater expectations and know when to stand still - making room for men to step up.
Amen!
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