Trust

The dictionary defines the word "trust" as "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing. Confidence."

Recently, I had the opportunity to analyze my own reasons for trusting (or not trusting) the people that touch my life. Although, I won't give the details. I found that the more someone insists that they are trustworthy, the less likely I am to trust them.

Sometimes, I find it strange that I see the world in words. Writing is a love affair for me. Yet, I do not take words at face value. There is always a portion of myself (conscious or otherwise) holding its breath in expectation because action speaks more loudly than the whispered "I love you" or the "forever" shouted from a mountaintop.

Several years ago, my mother lived with me. She was unemployed at the time and had become a finatic follower of Dr. Phil. Oftentimes, I would watch with her. I think I heard his philosophy on trust so often, that I adopted as my own. It wasn't necessarily the repetition, but the power behind it. He used to ask his guests, "What is the worst thing that could happen?" and "Could you handle it?"

Last Saturday, I met someone I couldn't trust. Not for the lack of knowing him or having anyone to recommend him, but because I knew what the worst could be and I wasn't ready to face it.