Take Me Home (Book 4 - Hearts of the Children Series)

I skipped the write up completely for book three...in fact, I read it in a day.  The author, Dean Hughes, suddenly stopped playing Trivial Pursuit and started writing his characters into some portions of history (just before my own birth) that have always interested me.  Personally, I think we, humanity, but the United States of American in particular are still living with the repercussions of the late 60's -- feminism, civil rights, Vietnam, etc. 

The other thing that held my attention past all of the poor editing (check page 166, Book 3, and pay attention to the character who changes sex from male to female to male all in a few paragraphs... seriously?), is that one of Dean Hughes characters became me.  She's a girl who got married very young and, even though my looks have never been at the forefront of my personal image (I'm more of a book worm than that), I too found myself in with a marriage partner I feared the first time around.  For Diana, the fear kept growing and she grew more and more conscious of it.  She asked questions earlier, of her family, how marriage should work.  Are there arguements?  Do husbands use their Priesthood to have the final say?  Luckily for Diana, she has a mother who could talk to her about unrighteous dominion very early on.  Somehow, I was hoping she would work past the justifications and excuses and self-blame that I put myself through a little more quickly...so I kept reading.  Faster and faster through Vietnam and the Peace Corps and the awful conditions of prisoners of the East German GPR to see what her choice would be. 

Would I have gotten out sooner if my mother had ever said to me, "Beckie, I tell all of your Bishops to watch out for you and keep you safe.  I know nothing is as perfect as he makes it out to be."

And now, I've reached a point where I have to stop for a minute and just get it out.  Diana's husband just beat her and she got out, finally.  Though not to the hospital.  Not to the police.  Why is there so much shame in being beaten by someone who promised to love and protect you?  Guess where Greg went?  That's right.  To the Bishop.  And he's so damned sorry.  He's so heartbroken and loves her and their baby so much. And guess what the Bishop has done?  Called and convinced Diana "not to throw away their eternal family."

...

All I can think of is the first time I actually reported the abuse to a Bishop.  My ex had hit our oldest daughter so hard that she bled and had a bruise on her face.  She wasn't even two years old.  I didn't take so many pictures back then.  Heaven, he was so sorry.  He would never do anything like that again.  He promised.  And the Bishop?  He sent us for counseling.  US.  Because we needed it.  Because we had obviously provoked his temper for such a thing to happen and needed to behave differently in the future.  Of course, the husband was wrong to do that.  But, he was under so much stress from school and work and... guess how many times he went to the counselor the first time?  Three times.  He was so idyllic as a man/father/husband the counselor couldn't see why we were there.  I was so lucky to have him and the new baby on the way.  And I couldn't leave.  How was I supposed to leave with my belly so huge I couldn't see my toes?  And how was I supposed to keep my daughter from his anger except to be perfect and keep a perfect house?  It was, after all, the imperfections that MADE him lose his temper.

...

I don't know where Mr. Hughes is taking this portion of the story.  But, this is my thank you note, that he has written about it at all.  So many of the times Diana asked questions about discordance in a marriage, everyone gave her the general "we all argue", "marriage isn't perfect", "YOU have to talk to your husband so he knows how to treat you."  Guess what ladies and gentlemen?  These answers are not always enough.  You never know someone until AFTER you are married to them and that is nothing to be ashamed about.  Some things shouldn't be kept private and people who are being approached for counsel really need to be open to guidance instead of just relying on their own experience when they give it. 

And, P.S...An ecclesiastical leader is NOT always the best person to go to for advice on what is best inside your marriage.

Now that I've cried it out.  I'm going to attempt to get through this.  I am praying it doesn't take Diana the nine years it took me to get out.