Friday, August 8, 2014

Things to Know About Miscarriage: the First Few Days

A recent search for "miscarriage" in a medical link online recently found this gem of counsel that "women who miscarry in the first few weeks of pregnancy often do not know they've miscarried. They may only experience heavier bleeding and cramping than usual."


Really?


Thanks for that. I had looked it up wondering what a friend of mine might be experiencing. Little did I know that by tucking this information away for myself, I would completely underestimate my own situation a few short months later. Many women don't talk openly about their miscarriages, but I've decided to break that silence. My own experience began about 4 days ago. While there might be women who don't realize they are miscarrying, many of us do, and it isn't easy. Because of the wide range of individual experiences, please know that I am not pretending to write a comprehensive list here.


Physically:


You may feel a burst or trickle of fluid from the vagina. This is the amniotic sack. Early on, there will only be a small amount and you may dismiss this as urine. Note that amniotic fluid is clear and has a "sweeter" smell than urine does. If you have already met with your OB/GYN, you may collect this and have it tested to be sure.


Nothing may happen for another 24 hours. Or,  you may experience bleeding and cramping right away. For me, I began to bleed approximately 12 hours later without any cramping (I began to believe that medical site).


"Cramping" vs. "Contractions" -- If you've never given birth before, you may chalk what happens next up to the worst cramps of your life. But, having given birth naturally before, I recognized the painful, rhythmic contracting of my uterus. For me, it was sharp, tight and focused. This may have been due to the comparative size of the uterus during the birthing process. Some women experience back labor at this time as well. Just like full-term labor, these contractions will build and ebb, like a tide. Take deep breaths through them to give your body enough oxygen to send endorphins where they are needed. They will get closer and closer. If you need something to do, time them. (I had plenty to do trying to keep my head and explain what I could to my family.) This part of the process lasted about 36 hours for me during which time I had difficulty sleeping, eating or drinking.


Post delivery: weakness and uterine care. Even though your skin, uterus, and hips didn't have the chance to stretch and strain under the weight of a fully developed life, you must plan to be gentle on yourself physically. Taking time off of work, having dinner delivered, and not lifting more than 10 lbs. for a few days may be necessary. I'm a pusher with a large family who tried to do things too soon. Bad idea. It is also important that you knead your belly downward toward your pelvic bone. Depending on how far along you are, you may be able to feel the hard edge of the "fundus". Kneading this down helps reduce blood clots, cramping, and reduces your uterus to its normal size. I'm still working on this part.


GET TO A DOCTOR if you experience fever, chills, heavy bleeding, or a tremendous amount of pain.


Emotionally:


Welcome to grief. There may be shock, denial, bartering, anger, sadness, acceptance, and/or a mixture of all of the above and these may happen at any time in any sequence whether you were planning and hoping for baby or if this pregnancy was a surprise. I have found myself deeply confused by myself this week and by the responses of others around me.


One gentle warning I received yesterday is the possibility of post-partum blues. I plan to write again and keep writing until I'm through it. Life is a process. I plan to honor it.

1 comment:

  1. Thank you for being so open. Sometimes all we can do is tell our stories. You are the strongest person I know. I believe in your ability to thrive through your process and in God's ability to carry you when you don't feel strong. All my love and prayers.

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